I’ve been doing Crossfit for three weeks now and I’m 100% committed to it. Best workout around. Fastest results I’ve ever seen. One hang-up though. I still have a gym membership.
It should come as little shock that it’s extremely difficult to cancel a gym membership. What I’ve learned in the past day or so as I’ve been navigating through cancelling mine is that there should be at the very basic level, a financial obligation to working out at a gym since “they’re already taking your money.” However, now that I’ve found an alternative, that motivation is gone. What I have now is better. What they offer doesn’t compare. LET ME GO!
So step 1. Get someone on the phone. This step is more difficult than it sounds because being honest and saying, “I wanna talk about my membership,” is code for, “I want to quit.” Very quickly the “Everyone is busy and all the sales associates / specialists are with other members” alarm goes off. Be persistent.
Step 2. Sales Associate #1. Sales Associate #1 is easy to get around. He is going to go through great lengths to find your ACTUAL contract (the one you ACTUALLY signed) to ensure that he can accurately pinpoint the terms of your contract as they OFTEN change. Truth be told, it’s all on his computer screen. You can HEAR him clicking his keyboard when he said he is looking for an actual file. Be prepared here…have your copy in front of you. Inevitably this ends with, “Ok, lemme get a verification from a shift manager and we’ll get you on with the rest of your life.”
Step 3. Manager. This is your guilt guy. This is the one you have to grit your teeth on because you’re about to get a character / fitness / pattern of life analysis over the phone. ”Have you thought about this?” ”Have you thought about that?” ”Do you realize you’re going to miss out on this?” ”Why would you want to miss out on that?” Stay strong because this won’t last long. He’ll either get you to back down quickly or quickly kick you up to…
Step 4. The Closer. Few people reach the Closer. The Closer has NO CONSCIENCE when it comes to your gym membership. ACTUAL QUOTES from “The Closer.”
“You realize that you need us more than we need you.”
“Mr. Joe, this isn’t a financial issue, it’s really a discipline issue.”
“Fitness requires some buy-in, and all I’m hearing is selling out.”
“Your body is gonna suffer because of your mind.”
Listen attentively. Don’t get riled up. Respond respectfully and don’t try to out-talk this guy. It’ll all be over soon.
Ironically, The Closer, when he’s done huffing and puffing should kick you back to Step 1 or 2 and you SHOULD be done.
I leave you with this: (there’s VERY little NOT true about this situation)
